Dear Manay Gina,
This problem is bothering me for quite a time now. But more seriously these days because my boyfriend is thinking of marriage already. In fairness to him, he has a great sense of humor and kind. Most of all, he is very respectful to me and my parents, and he adores me. However, I have a problem concerning his sister and his mother. For some reason, they don’t like me, and they’re unafraid to show it.
Right now, I am seriously concerned about the future of our relationship. I would have no problems marrying him, but marriage is much more than just two individuals being together, right? Besides, I really don’t like too much drama.
You are so right. People often forget that their special person comes with a family. Family can play a major or a minor role, depending on the degree of closeness that characterizes the relationship between the partner and his or her parents and siblings.
I suggest that you take the high road by “killing them with kindness.” Though, that may get a bit straining, you can do no wrong. If they’ve pushed you too far, there’s no need to sink down to their level by hurling insults. And if you’ve always been polite, nice and your wonderful self, and they are still rude, there’s not much more you can do to win them over.
If you’re planning a future with your boyfriend, it’s a good idea to try to make peace with them. But it’s your boyfriend who should initiate the peacemaking process. He should be able to explain to them that he has a plan to marry you, and they better be nice to you too.
In situations like this, it’s easy to focus on the negative. But consider all the great things going for you in this relationship: you two are blissfully happy, you’re talking about a long-term future together and he adores you.
“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” — Brian Tracy
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