Dear Manay Gina,
I have an on and off relationship with a particular guy for the past two years now. But even in the absence of commitment, we always come back to each other. I haven’t talked about a relationship with him but I’m tired of this off and on thing. His friends have also made comments to my friends like “they will probably end up together.” Does this mean that he talks about me to his friends? What can I do to take our relationship to another level?
You asked me if I think he talks to his friends about you… I’m sure he does. People talk – it’s just how people are.
But the fact is, neither one of you has made a commitment to the other.
I believe that at this stage, you need to discuss your relationship. My bet is that once you’ve said your piece and you listen fully to his feelings on the matter, you will come to a decision. It may be that you commit to a relationship or you make a clean break from each other. Either way, you’ll be off the fence.
Just check yourself about what you really want. And if you need a change, then talk it out. That’s the only way to get clarity. However, if both of you are taking cues from one another and neither is making any firm commitment, then things will continue to stay the way they have been into the future.
Ultimately, you both have to claim responsibility for exactly what you’re doing and decide if it’s what you both really want. I can say that if you talk to him, he will be able to clarify where he stands. It may or may not be an answer you would like, but you would have clarity and you could make a decision.
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“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer
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