Dear Manay Gina,
I and my husband have been married for eight years. We have a stable relationship because we are very open to each other.
My problem started when I got to reconnect with my friends in college through the social media. First, it was exciting to learn what is happening with their lives. But one time, my ex-boyfriend tried to “friend” me, and my heart stopped. To be honest, I am also curious what happened in his life. At the same time, I am worried my husband would see that we have made connection and get upset.
A part of me keeps saying that this is no big deal. The other part worries that I don’t want to have a secret that I keep from my husband. Am I overreacting?
It sounds like you really know the answer to your question, but your curiosity is getting the best of you. Take this into consideration: You are happily married to a man who trusts you. If you cannot discuss this with him, it is because you know deep down that it is inappropriate.
For your peace of mind, don’t bring this ex that made your “heart stopped” into the present. You may hurt his feelings. He may even think you’re rude. But it is much better that you annoy someone who is not part of your life than hurt your husband, who loves, respects and trusts you.
So bottom line, ignore his request to be your “friend”. He is not your friend, he is your ex-boyfriend.
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“Curiosity killed the cat.”
– Every Man in His Humour, 1598
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Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org (Gina de Venecia)