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Searching for the romantic ideal

Dear Manay Gina,
I was a single mom for many years when I met my husband. We have been together for four years and married for two.

He loves me and would always take care of me. However, last month I asked him to leave. I explained to him I was tired of being a referee between my son and him because he continually overreacted to my son’s misbehavior.

Since then, he has been making a genuine effort to improve his relationships with my son and me. The thing is, I’m no longer attracted to him. He is jobless and his life consists of his jeep, his computer and me. I feel I should stay married because he is making a sincere effective effort to improve his behavior. On the other hand, I miss feeling passionate about someone. What are your thoughts about this situation?

Rexie

Dear Rexie,
Oftentimes, the romantic ideal is unattainable. From what you write, you should seriously consider devoting your energies to building on your husband’s desire to do better. With some loving effort and encouragement, you could probably bring him around to doing some of the things you enjoy. At the very least, perhaps give yourself a chance to concentrate on the marriage you are in. Although it is by now one of those “yeah, yeah, yeah” relationships, good marriages take work.

Affectionately,

Manay Gina

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“We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

– Barbara de Angelis

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Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com

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