Dear Manay Gina,
I and my boyfriend have been ‘on’ for almost nine months. However, I still have a problem about his obsession with his ex-girlfriends. He would always talk about them, what they were like and on and on. He also says I am being secretive and should open up more about my past relationships. However, I feel the past should stay there, and in order to have a future with someone, you have to resolve your feelings for an ex and move on. I’ve never encountered a guy like this before. Am I overreacting?
They are ex’s. There’s a reason he’s not with them. The case is closed. Sometimes, if a guy is in a committed relationship and he wants his girlfriend to really understand him, she needs to hear his crazy stories. Now, is he talking about her because he wants her back? Or is he saying that he really cared about her, but she was incurably flawed?
If you’re convinced that this situation is not going to get better, then, it’s time to leave him to his memories. It is almost a sure bet that you can do better – i.e., find a man who will love you for what you are, is not obsessively living in the past, and doesn’t need to be turned on by details of you and other people.
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“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy
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Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org (Gina de Venecia)