Dear Manay Gina,
My brother’s teenage son told my son that he is gay. My son became disturbed by this information and confided this to his father. As the information trail continued, my husband said it to me, making me promise not to say anything.
Now I’m torn between keeping my promise to withhold this knowledge or informing my brother and his wife of their son’s situation. One side of me feels that I should keep my mouth shut, and the other side feels that if my nephew is confused about his sexuality, maybe he might be able to get some help. This is a touchy situation that will affect my younger nephew the rest of his life, and I don’t know what I should do.
I hope you will go along with the side of you that thinks you should keep your mouth shut. You cannot betray the young man to his parents. If he was ready to tell them, he would have done so already.
Because the young man confided to your son, you might ask him to suggest to his cousin that if he’s feeling confusion, or wants information, he should go to the school’s counselor to work out his feelings on the subject.
Having brought the information to his cousin, it would be perfectly natural for his cousin to follow up with a useful suggestion.
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“When you betray somebody else, you also
– Isaac Bashevis Singer
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