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Lackluster marriage

Dear Manay Gina,
To be honest, I’m slowly dying inside while my husband thinks there’s absolutely nothing wrong with our marriage.

There’s no romance, no conversation, no doing or learning new things together. How can I convince my husband that we do have problems? Is this all we were meant to have?


Dear Lydia,
It is likely that you and your husband have different personality types. Your husband is, perhaps, the kind of person who finds security in routine – life without a lot of surprises. Then there’s you – a person who craves excitement, some variety.

If you discover that the difference is simply your personalities, that knowledge may help you feel less frustrated with your husband. It may also open the door to discussing how both of you can make adjustments to get more of your needs met.

You and your husband may also seek some outside help, such as attending a marriage-enrichment seminar, or you can ask tips from other couples, who are close to both of you.

Whatever you do, make sure you attack the problem together. Tell your husband that the condition of your marriage is a serious problem for you. Meanwhile, ask God to give you grace and some creativity in your relationship while you wait for changes. True compatibility grows out of your mutual faith in God. As both of you grow closer in relationship to God, intimacy will also grow between you.


Manay Gina

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“I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life – whoever you are, whatever our differences.” – John Denver

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Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com (Gina de Venecia)