Dear Manay Gina,
My nephew is a millennial and very active. I noticed though that he appears to have a grave problem staying employed.
There is a definite pattern in his unemployment. At first, the new job is wonderful, the people are nice, and the work is exciting. After a few months, trouble begins – invariably with his supervisor. What follows is either a dismissal or a search for the next “dream job,” where, of course, the cycle repeats again.
It is obvious to everyone who knows and loves him that the trouble lies with him and not, as he would have it.
Needless to say, as I write this letter, he is about to lose another job. I fear if he continues this pattern, his future will be in jeopardy. He lives with me and I was the one who sent him to school, but I have my own family now.
Your nephew’s repeated manic initial response to a job, then making a mess of it, is legitimate cause for concern. He clearly has a short-timer’s attitude towards his job. Putting things right is, of course, much easier said than done. What you must do now is confront him with the truth as tactfully and forcefully as possible. If staying engaged in his job is the problem, teach him how to find something new within his sphere of work, to help perk up his waning attitude. Doing something he doesn’t typically do does get the juices flowing.
Make clear that you are willing to be emotionally supportive if he makes efforts to help himself but that financially you are unable to have him as a dependent. For your own emotional well-being, know that the worst case scenario may involve distancing yourself if he will not acknowledge his problem. You should also know that your evaluation of the situation is humane and loving, and that, however things play out, you will have been a good and caring aunt.
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“Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
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