Dear Manay Gina,
The women in my family are not good in keeping long-term commitment. My aunt left her husband and my sister just separated from her husband as well. And based on my experience, it seems that I am also unable to nurture an enduring relationship. I’m scared of commitment. All my ex-boyfriends are nice. However, I just run away from all of them once they get serious. How can I get over this fear every time a guy mentions marriage to me? I don’t want to be alone forever.
Perhaps, you need to integrate the fact that what happened with your relatives is not necessarily destined to happen to you. Of course, kids can unconsciously repeat their forebears actions, but then again, many of them deliberately work to avoid the same mistakes, and succeed.
Next time, try to see each boyfriend as a friend, not a potential husband. Get comfortable and see where things go.
Because you wish to marry and have children, judge each man by his qualities and how he makes you feel – not by memories of your less than successful family history. You are you. I predict you will find someone wonderful if you just put a lid on your fears and let life happen. Good luck.
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“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” – Mario Andretti
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