Dear Manay Gina,
I’ve been seeing this guy for six months and we get along well, most of the time, but I often find myself comparing him to my ex-boyfriend, with whom I broke up after we dated on and off for five years. I ended my previous relationship because of his drug problem. He had tremendous potential but he is just a problematic guy. However, even if I have a nice relationship, I still find myself having to fight off the urge to call my ex-bf – and sometimes I give in and call. Then I feel guilty. Does my calling him mean I unconsciously want to get back with my ex?
There is some kind of magnet that draws women to troubled men. Curiously, in comparison to other men who are emotionally whole , those problematic guys often seem more interesting.
Well, you just did yourself a favor by cutting the ties with your problematic ex. Realize that love is not about tension and suffering in the end. For your sake, do try to fight the urge to reconnect with your ex. Perhaps by recalling the drug-induced difficulties you can keep your hand from reaching for the phone.
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“Your own reason is the only oracle given you by heaven, and you are answerable for, not the rightness, but the uprightness of the decision”
– Thomas Jefferson
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Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org (Gina de Venecia)