Dear Manay Gina,
I’m past 40 and I’m finally ready to settle down and have kids. I have a boyfriend who is a really nice guy. He definitely loves me but he’s just not sure if he’s ready to settle down. I love him too but my physical attraction to him has never been strong.
Recently, I was able to reconnect with my ex-bf and I hear he is separated. He is reliable, boring, has faults, etc., but I know he cares for me because how many men can tell you what you were wearing the first time you met, 20 years later? The chance is here. Do I stay with the man who loves me, or do I go back to the one I used to love? HELP!!
The one who definitely loves you sounds disinclined to pop the question, let alone make a baby.
Regarding the first love, the one you’re sure is looking for you, he probably knows where to find you. Just as an aside, someone who can describe the outfit you were wearing when first you met does not necessarily denote undying devotion, but rather a keen memory for clothes. I implore you not to get carried away with the romantic notions you seem to be dragging around.
The only person who decides what’s best for you is YOU. Give yourself some more time to ruminate on your choices. Time will surely tell you who’s the right man.
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“The choices we make determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices.”
– James E. Faust
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Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org (Gina de Venecia)