Home » Opinion » Marital bliss

Marital bliss

Hi Ms. Rica:

Is the saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life” correct? I always hear people say that as an advice. Is this true?

More Power,

When we talk about relationships and marriages, we usually hear this saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” It says that if a wife is happy, it just follows that everyone else in the family is happy.

What if I tell you that Science has already debunked this saying and studies show that when it comes to good marriages, the health and attitude of the husband plays a major role in marital bliss?

But then, saying that happy wife gives you a happy life, or a happy husband gives you a happy life can be unfair and overtly misleading. In my practice as a couples and sex therapist, I found marital bliss not dependent on one partner alone, but on BOTH. So I say Happy Wife + Happy Husband = Happy Life.

How do you become happy? I can’t tell you that. Happiness for me, may not be happiness for you.

But I can tell you the Top 3 most common signs based on research and practice that could lead to an unhappy husband, an unhappy wife, and consequently an unhappy marriage and an unhappy life:

3. You have no everyday connection. You don’t ask each other how your day went. Even if your spouse’s days tend to be the same, it is necessary to ask to show that you care.

When you stop asking, you come off as though what mattered to your spouse while you were not around does not matter so much to you. So parang wala kang pakialam kung anong nangyari sa kaniya, kapag wala ka in the picture. And I’m not talking about the condescending, “San ka nagpunta? Sino kasama mo?Ano ginawa mo?” kind of asking na may hidden agenda. I’m talking about the genuine how are you and how was your day kind of connection.

2. You spend more time taking care of your children than your spouse.

Having a “child-centered” marriage is a big NO NO. It is true that the kids require a lot of time and energy, but so does your spouse. Your relationship with your spouse should be number one.

Your life cannot go around your children’s lives while you neglect your spouse. And this is a very, very common mistake among spouses. Once the kids come in, they tend to forget one another. Shucks.

1. Infrequent sex.

Yes, sex is important!

Sex is something that should be enjoyed instead of a chore. If your partner has told you that he or she needs more intimacy, it is important to take that into consideration because this kind of neglect is one that can make a person feel rejected and unloved. And in our emotions, rejection is the most painful. So as I always say, find time to have sex, please! #takeitfromthesexymind

* * *

If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram _ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9. (Rica Cruz)