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Lubricants may help ease pain

Hi Ms. Rica,
Is it normal to hurt sometimes when we do it or is there something wrong with me? Am I too small? Should I get myself checked? What should I do to avoid pain?

Thank you,

Dear R,
I’m really sorry to know that you’re having pain during sessions. Actually, it is not uncommon to experience difficulty in the form of pain during the deed.

In surveys, around 30 percent of women report pain with any given act of penetration. The pain during the deed is typically mild and only lasts for a few minutes.

However, pain is pain. Though some people enjoy feeling the pain during the deed, there are others who don’t like it.
There are a number of reasons why penetration may be painful for you. You may feel and think that you’re small. But according to research, we are all about the same in size down there.

Halos pare-pareho lang. Even those who have given childbirth normally do not vary in size down there compared to those who have not.

One reason could be that you’re not lubricated or “wet” enough. You will feel more comfortable when you’re well lubricated.

Normally, if you play with each other long before you do the deed (average foreplay is around 18 minutes), this play may get you wet and lubricated. When you get aroused during play, this can create muscular tension to draw your uterus upward, creating more “space” inside.

But, if you guys are a fan of quick deeds, you might want to have commercially available lubricants handy. You may experiment if water-based or silicone-based lubricant helps penetration to be more pleasurable and less hurtful for you.

Lubricants are available in your suking drugstore. Another factor could be your age. If you are approaching menopause, you’re nursing, or breastfeeding, or have medical conditions that can cause dryness, then you may ask your doctor to prescribe you with moisturizers down there.

Another thing that you can do is to switch positions. Choosing positions that make you in control over depth and rhythm of penetration can help you avoid the pain. Women on top, cow girl, and reverse cowgirl – these are positions that you can work with.

These are just some of the few things that help women be more comfortable when being intimate with their partners and help make the deed more pleasurable for them.

BUT, if it still hurts down there even after trying these things, I suggest that you go get yourself checked by a doctor and a counselor. Good luck! #takeitfromthesexymind

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.