Home » Opinion » Money matters

Money matters

By: Rica Cruz

Hi Ms. Rica,
Live-in kami ng boyfriend ko sa condo that I rent. He sometimes gives me money and pays for some of the groceries, pero, because I’m taking care of the rent and the utilities, I’m starting to feel resentful. He makes more money than I do and okay naman ako financially. Pero, how do I get him to take care of his part of the monthly bills without making him feel that I’m madamot or mukhang pera?

Thank you,

Hi T,
First off, mahirap talaga pag-usapan ang pera. Lalo na sa culture natin na hindi tayo tinuruan pag-usapan ang pera.

But truth be told, money management issues are one of the major reasons for separation between couples! Sabi ko nga sa mga tao, if there’s sexual compatibility, mayroon ding financial compatibility.

Dahil live-in kayo, hindi maiiwasan na talagang magkakaroon ng issue tungkol sa pera. And although it sounds like you’re a bit stressed about the situation at the moment, kapag pinag-usapan niyo ang issues niyo tungkol sa pera, this stress can be turned into an opportunity for growth for the both of you! Your openness and willingness to talk about it could actually make your relationship more stable. So, ano nga bang kailangan gawin?

First, you have to set what the financial situation is. Magkano ang nagagastos para sa monthly bills, utilities, groceries? Magkano ang binibigay niya sayo? Magkano ang sagot mo? It would be helpful if you record all these amounts on paper, para makita niyo ang trend ng gastos niyo.

Next, you have to talk to your boyfriend. When you talk to him, it is better to be upfront than paligoy-ligoy. Tell him first how much he means to you, and that you want to keep the relationship strong and assure him that the purpose of the discussion is just to be clear about the money situation because you do not want to resent the circumstance in the long run. Talk about your wishes and goals. What does he want? What do you want? What can you both afford? How much do you both want to set aside? These are the things that you have to settle openly. Pagusapan niyo nang mahinahon at huwag kayo mahiya sa isa’t isa. You have to trust each other, after all, you’re already living in together! Di ba?

It is also important that you discuss about what money means to you. Oo, para sa ibang tao, hindi dapat pinoproblema ang pera. But, let’s face it. In these times, money is important. So, think about what money means to you. For example, how do you feel about paying for most of the bills? How does your boyfriend interpret these actions? Is he grateful? Or more entitled? Pwede rin kasing gusto ka niyang tulungan, pero hindi niya alam kung magkano ang kailangan. So, letting each other know how you both feel is a must. #takeitfromthesexymind

* * *

If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.