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Why people can’t say no

By: Chinkee Tan

Do you find it difficult to say “NO” to other people? Have you ever been in situations like these?

Your boss asks you to do something. You already have a lot on your plate but because it’s your boss, you say, “Yes, sir! I’ll do it!” But in the end, you get stressed and work overtime just to finish the added workload.

Your friends invite you to go out. You really can’t go because you have homework to finish, but because they insist, you eventually give in. The result? You lack sleep and don’t even have the energy to finish your homework.

People will always pass on tasks to you, especially because they know that you won’t turn them down. They may be your boss, co-workers, friends, or even relatives. In reality, we really can’t blame them for depending on you too much, because you keep saying yes!

Now the question is, why do you keep on saying YES? Why do you keep on accepting a task even when you know you can’t handle it?

Is it because of you need to PLEASE OTHERS? Is it because you feel lesser of a person if you don’t give in to their demands? Is it because you are afraid to be replaced or fired at work if you don’t comply?

Whatever your reasons are, make sure that they are valid. You need to know whether you are doing them out of duty or because you feel forced to do it. Do you do it with joy or stress?

Because you keep on saying “YES,” look at what you’ve become now – tired and overstressed! You’re only 25 but you actually look like you’re 45! People have begun to think your mom is your sister! You don’t deserve this kind of life. You deserve better!

The only person who can make your life difficult and stressful is YOU.

You cannot always say you were forced to do something. Admit it, you also wanted to do it! So, you can’t really say that you didn’t have a choice. If you feel overworked, stressed, tensed, and abuse, it is simply because you have chosen to give in.

TODAY! LEARN HOW TO SAY, “NOOOOO!!” Let’s practice, “NOOOOO!!!”

Come on, say it out loud again, “NOOOOO!!!” Learn to put your foot down. You don’t have to become a PEOPLE-PLEASER.

Your life’s focus should be to please God alone, not man. Are you afraid of rejection? The Lord accepts you and who you are.

Are you afraid of losing your job? The Lord is your provider. Are you afraid of what other people will say about you? If God is for you, who can be against you?

Do you get it? It’s time to set yourself free from stress and unwanted pressures in life.


Don’t give an answer right away. Think through the requests and demands carefully. Identify the pros and cons of a probable decision and HOW IT WILL AFFECT YOU in the end.


A “NO” answer doesn’t mean the task cannot be done. If you decided to say no, you can offer an option like if you can do it the next day, or if someone can help you finish it.

Be HONEST with what you really feel, but do it respectfully. Remember, people will understand a sincere heart. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of saying “NO.”


Are you ready to make a stand and say “No”?

What are the things that YOU can say NO to?

Are you ready to please God, not man?