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She has never ‘reached it’

Ni: Rica Cruz

Hi Ms. Rica:
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a a couple of years now. We’re sexually active, but, according to her, she has never experienced an orgasm. Hindi niya alam kung paano malalaman if she’s had an orgasm or not.

Please help!

Hello O!
How would you know if you’ve had that Big O? Well, each of us experiences an orgasm differently. Some can experience an orgasm with intensity that can be likened to a volcanic eruption. Others may experience a more discreet and subdued response. May wild at maingay, may tahimik at mahinhin.

Ano ba ang orgasm? An orgasm is a reflex. It is more often accompanied by feelings of pleasure that usually happens during sexual stimulation. An orgasm happens when the built-up tension from blood flow into the genitals and muscular tension from sexual arousal is suddenly released, allowing the body to return to normal. Parang bote lang ng softdrinks na binuksan pagkatapos alug-alugin.

Because of our anatomical differences, men and women experience the release differently. Para sa mga babae, contractions occur in the lower part of the vagina, in the uterus, and pwede ring in the anus. Madami ring pwedeng maramdaman na sensations during an orgasm. For example, changes in breathing, sweating, body vibrations, feeling of warmth or pagka-init, a need to moan, or cry.

Para mas may idea ang girlfriend mo, these are some ways people describe their experience of the Big O:

• “I feel excitement and tension all over my body.”

• “My toes curl, and I feel my hips release a lot of energy.”

• “Parang nanginginig ung katawan ko. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw.”

• “Mahirap i-describe, pero parang may nagcocontract doon. Tapos masarap ang feeling.”

Like your girlfriend, there are some people who do not know if they’ve had an orgasm or not. Pwede kasing ung mga nararamdaman nila ay sobrang mild lang.

Okay lang un. What’s important is that you get concentrate on what feels good and what she enjoys.

If she wants to feel an intensified Big O, then you can experiment by touching her in pleasurable ways until the intensity becomes release. Gawing mo kung ano ang masarap para sa kaniya. Ask her what feels good, and do that, arouse her until she could feel a build up all over her body, and don’t stop until she lets it all out. Have fun!


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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Twitter or Instagram: @_ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.