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Go for it!

by Rica Cruz

Hi Ms. Rica,

I’m a college student and I follow and read your columns po. I want to ask for tips on how to ask a guy friend out on a date? I’m shy and I don’t know if he will see me as aggressive or judge me in some other way if he knows that I like him. Baka pagtawanan lang po niya ako.

Thank you,
Shy Girl

Hi Shy Girl,

I decided to give the letter-senders pseudonames for identity. Hope that’s okay with you.

Anyhow, let me tell you this first: if the guy judges you negatively because you like him, then he’s probably not worth all the stress. There’s nothing negative about liking someone. It’s human nature. Plus, he should be flattered that a woman like YOU, likes him! Di ba?

But yes, kahit sino naman – girl or boy; man or woman – regardless of gender, people get anxious when they want to ask someone out on a date. But mostly because most are afraid of rejection. Pero, anong mangyayari if we let that fear overpower us? Wala. You won’t know if the guy’s a nice person, or the complete opposite, or if he likes you too, or not. So I always tell my students with the same concern to just go for it! Wala namang mawawala. And as you said you’re already friends, then it’ll be easier for you to ask him out. Do it really casually like how friends would do it, that way, you won’t be as anxious. BUT, be clear that it’s just going to be the two of you. Para din alam niya that you’re asking him out on a date.

Pwedeng ganito:

  • “Gusto ko manood ng movie, do you want to watch with me?”
  • “There’s a good restaurant near school, let’s have lunch/dinner there sometime?”
  • “I want to spend more time with you. Coffee tayong dalawa?”
  • Whatever kind of date that you plan to do with him, just invite him casually. Pero dapat prepared ka rin sa sagot niya – that can either be a yes or a no. If he says “Yes,” then enjoy the date! Okay lang kabahan, but again, don’t let that ruin your time together. Don’t expect anything, just be in the moment and have fun!

    But, if he says “No” then do not take it personally. It doesn’t mean that he’s rejecting you. All it means is that he’s rejecting the invitation. And you’ll know that you need to move forward and save time not worrying about asking him out again. Di ba? Tandaan mo lang na kapag nag-“No” siya, it doesn’t make you less like-able or less of a woman, or anything less for that matter. You are still you. And be proud of yourself that you asked and did something about it! You go, girl! #girlpower #takeitfromthesexymind

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    If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.

    Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.