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Walking the long road to paradise

By: Rica Cruz

Hello Rica,
Been reading your column in Tempo. Hope you can help me as well as other readers. I want to last longer in terms of shooting loads. I’ve read about kegel exercises for men but I do not understand it. Do you have any other tips?

Thank you,

Hi S!

Thank you for reading my column. I hope I get to enlighten you in some way.

Shooting loads, as you call it, often happens during orgasm. Having and reaching that that Big O is a learned response. Ibig sabihin, pwedeng matutunan and pag-stimulate at pag-hawak to effectively give you that orgasm. Now, think about what makes you excited and gets you off agad-agad? Have you considered trying different variations of touch and strokes (slower, softer, harder, faster, etc.)? Kapag iniba-iba mo, it can actually help in controlling your automatic “shooting the load” response.

Aside from variation, you can also try what we call the ‘start-stop’ technique. For example, kapag feeling mo na at the brink ka na of shooting, you have to stop whatever you’re doing. Tumigil ka and do nothing. Well, you have to breathe. Taking long breaths can help calm you down until the need to shoot it out disappears. Tapos, pag wala na, you can start again. Then stop again when you feel that you’re about to get there. It will take you a few tries to figure out that moment of no return and stopping before that moment. Don’t think that you’ll be able to do it overnight. With this method, practice is a must!

Now what if you have a partner? Medyo awkward naman kung bigla kang tumigil and do nothing, right? So what can you do when you stop. You can hold him/her. You can stimulate him/her in other ways. Pwede fingers, pwede ring toys. Be creative. As long as it doesn’t push you over the edge.

Another technique that you can try is the ‘squeeze technique.’ This works by squeezing your manhood for a few seconds. Saan at paano mo i-squeeze? I’ll try my best to describe: Hold your manhood with your thumb on the ridge (sa ibaba ng ulo) and your index and middle finger on the opposite side. (Kung nalilito ka, may mga photos online na pwede mong gayahin.) When you’ve figured it out, squeeze for three-four seconds. The squeeze actually takes away the desire to shoot your load and make you last longer. Pero just like the other technique, this takes practice to work effectively. So don’t be frustrated when you get to shoot too early. Wait na lang ulit, then try again! #takeitfromthesexymind

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Twitter or Instagram: @_ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.