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My sex life isn’t that great anymore

By: Rica Cruz

Dear Ms. Rica,
I used to have a great sex life with my boyfriend. But for the past two months, biglang, it’s not as great anymore.

Sa totoo lang, it’s bad and I don’t enjoy it at all. Na-arouse naman ako, pero when we are on the act of doing it, it doesn’t feel like it used to.

Hindi na siya masarap. Minsan pa nga, masakit pa siya. Kaya minsan, ayoko na lang. Is there something wrong with me?
Thank you,

Disappointed Girlfriend

Hi Disappointed Girlfriend,
First of all, I’m sorry to hear (or read) that you’re going through this. It’s not surprising that when you used to have a sex life you enjoy, then it changes for the worse, you’re upset and disappointed.

Considering na biglaan na nangyari ito, I would suggest that you go to your doctor and get a pelvic exam immediately.

Pwede kasing dahil sa infection, like vaginitis, ang pagkawala ng enjoyment mo during sexy time. So the first step is to rule out any kind of infection.

If you’re clear from infection, then other factors could contribute to your non-enjoyment:

– Are you taking medications? Antidepressants, blood pressure medications, muscle relaxants, and birth control pills can all have an effect on sexual functioning.

– Is your problem due to vaginal dryness? Pain during the deed can be attributed to a dry area down there. If you have inconsistencies in hormones, this can also cause uncomfortable sexy time.

– Are you stressed or depressed? Did you experience past sexual trauma? Consider these questions too, because other than medical and physical health, psychological factors can also be at play, kaya ka nahihirapan magenjoy.

Another thing that you could think about is the time when this happened: Kailan ba nangyari ito?

When did you notice that it’s not as pleasurable for you anymore? Did anything significant happen during that period?

Nagaway ba kayo or nagkaproblema? May iba ba siyang ginawa in terms of sexy play?

Did he touch you differently? Are you open to him about your feelings? How was and how is your relationship towards him now?

Pwede kasing the change is not purely physical, but, emotional as well.

Whatever the cause is, it’s clearly making you frustrated with yourself and your relationship. Thus, this deserves to be attended to by professionals (both medical and psychological) who can help you figure out the cause and help you move forward. While going through the process, I suggest that you and your boyfriend find other ways to enjoy each other, with or without penetration na hindi ka masasaktan. Can you still enjoy pleasuring yourself? Maybe you can start there! Good luck! #takeitfromthesexymind

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.

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