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Allow children to pout and cry sometimes

Ni Marilyn C. Arayata

THE one to whom nothing was refused, whose tears were always wiped away by an anxious mother, will not abide being offended.” (Seneca)

When children want something, there is a strong tendency for parents and grandparents to give it to them. Of course, they love to please the children because their happiness becomes the adults’ happiness, too – but not for long. You see, when children are given everything they want, they do not learn how to handle disappointments and rejections.

Ultimately, they develop into egoistic adults who even declare with excessive pride that they always get what they want (no matter what the cost).

People do not always get what they want unless there is “magic” involved. Those who are accustomed to getting what they want when they want it will only get angry and verbally abusive when told to wait and advised to handle rejections with humility and acceptance. Not after years of being spoiled.

Developing patience and dealing with frustrations ought to be taught in the early years of childhood. Besides seizing this critical period, parents and grandparents must be consistent. They will never succeed when they give in to the children’s tantrums, screams, and threats. The children will never learn to control their desires and urges. They will never truly care about laws and rules. They will not consider if the timing, place, and behavior is appropriate.

Can you just imagine the kind of person they will become? A lot depends on how they are raised.

Are you tempted to give your children and grandchildren all the things they want? It’s better to see them pouting and crying for a few minutes or hours when their demands are not met, than to see them as teen-agers and adults with serious behavior problems later. What do you think?


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