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The twenty nine year old virgin

By Rica Cruz

Hi Ms. Rica,
I hope you won’t judge me. But, I’m a 29 year old male virgin. Last week, my girlfriend (she’s a virgin din) and I decided to do it po. Pero, ayaw niya pumasok. Nanonood naman po kami ng videos, at tinry namin gawin, pero ayaw talaga. Ano po ba ang pwedeng gawin?

Unknown

Hello Unknown,
Thank you for being honest. Alam mo, sa totoo lang, hindi mo kailangan mahiya. Madami pa rin ang “virgin” or hindi nakikipagtalik na kasing edad mo. Okay lang yan. Kaniya-kaniya tayo ng oras.

Para matulungan kita sa problema mo, kailangan kong malaman kung anong ibig mong sabihin sa “away pumasok.” Madami kasing iba’t ibang dahilan para dito:

Una, sabi mo na wala pa ring penetrative experience ang iyong girlfriend. Para sa mga babae nahindi pa naka-experience ng vaginal intercourse, pwedeng maging masakit or uncomfortable ang first time nila. Para sa iba, pwede pa ngang magkaroon ng slight bleeding. This is because for some women, breaking the hymen could be painful.

Pangalawa, kung pareho kayong kinakabahan, pwede rin itong maging factor sa mahirap na pagpasok. During sex, if one of the partners is nervous, it may be difficult for the body to respond the way that we’re expecting it to be.

Pwedeng mahirapan kang magkaroon ng erection or pwede rin namang hindi fully aroused ang girlfriend mo. Kung hindi lubusang aroused and lubricated ang girlfriend mo nung oras na sinubukan mong ipasok, pwedeng mahirapan at masaktan kayo pareho.

Dalawa lang ito sa pinakamadalas na dahilan ng “mahirap pagpasok” during first-time sex. Para masolusyonan ang mga ito, kailangan ay kumportable kayo sa isa’t isa. I would suggest that you both move away from the goal of penetration and focus on arousing each other instead. Pwede rin kasing kulang ang foreplay na ginagawa ninyo para sa mas madaling intercourse.

It is also important that you do not set your expectations based on the videos you watch. Kailangan alam natin na ang mga videos na iyon ay hindi totoo. So kung ginagaya ninyo ang ginagawa nila, baka nga talaga kayo’y madisappoint. Ang pinakamahalaga ngayon para sa inyong dalawa ay malaman ninyo ang gusto ng isa’t isa. Be comfortable with each other.

Talk to each other during the process, and discover more about each other nang walang pressure. Then when you’re fully aroused, hopefully you’ll be able to enter a whole, new, different world. #takeitfromthesexymind

With love and lust,

Rica

If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Sex and Relationships Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.

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