Hi Ms. Rica,
I’m 21 years old po I have a question lang po kasi po kapag may ginagawa sa akin, wala po akong maramdaman. Kahit po orally o kaya with fingers, wala akong maramdaman. Kaya po minsan, kunyari na lang po na nasa-sarapan ako. May mali po ba sa akin? Ganito po ba talaga? Hindi ba talaga masarap?
Fake Girl
Hello Fake Girl,
I’m sorry na hindi ka nasasarapan sa iyong sexual escapades with your boyfriend. But don’t worry, pwede itong masolusyonan!
Nung sinabi mo na wala kang nararamdaman when your boyfriend goes down on you or stimulates you with his hands, ang ibig sabihin ba nito ay hindi ka na-a-arouse, at all? Or may nararamdaman kang sarap, pero hindi ka makapag-orgasm? Magkaiba kasi ang problema sa arousal, at sa orgasm. One way to resolve your issue, is to know the root of the problem.
You also say that you fake “it” when your boyfriend stimulates you. The problem with this is that when you fake it, you’re “cheating” yourself and your boyfriend. Paano mo malalaman kung ano ang masarap para sa iyo, kung finafake mo lang palagi? Siyempre, ang iisipin ng boyfriend mo ay tama ang ginagawa niya, kasi nakikita niya na nasasarapan ka, kahit hindi naman. Kaya, mas makakabuti para sa inyong dalawa kung sasabihin mo sa kaniya ang totoo. Para rin, makakahanap kayo ng ibang pwedeng gawin that hopefully can arouse you or help you orgasm.
Okay, nothing’s wrong with you. Baka lang hindi ka pa natututo kung paano ma-achieve yun. So this the time for you to learn. Touching yourself and knowing what feels good for you could be a good start.
Also, you’re not too young to orgasm. May mga bata nga na nagoorgasm. Children as young as 5 years old can have an orgasm. Although most women experience their first orgasm while they’re in college, as I presume, you are. So, you’re okay. It’s normal that you haven’t experience orgasm yet.
So how can you resolve this? Again, kailangan mo matuto. The idea is, kailangan alam mo muna kung ano ang magpapasarap sa iyo, and then teach your boyfriend to do it. Good sexual intimacy can only be achieved through time. Hindi siya instant. All you have to do is practice, practice, practice! And no faking, please!
With love and lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @_ricacruz and www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
