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When it comes to people, patterns rule

 

GINA de venecia dear inang mahal

Dear Manay Gina,

I am an optimistic person and I don’t display a lot of emo­tion even if I have problems. My boyfriend however isn’t like me. He is very emotional and gets depressed so easily. I don’t want to break up with him, because he’s a really a nice person. A friend said that I’m just obsessed with being his savior. I think I don’t want to give up on him, or our rela­tionship, because I’m an opti­mist. Am I acting reasonably? How do I deal with this?

                                                                                                Florita

Dear Florita,

One downside of being an opti­mist is that optimistic people tend to forget yesterday’s trauma in the belief that everything will turn out well. And in some cases, being an optimist can keep people in bad relationships because they genu­inely believe that things will always improve.

Unfortunately, when it comes to people, patterns rule. If your boy­friend will not try his best to change his ways, his dark moods will return and yesterday’s drama will repeat itself over and over again, no matter what your outlook is.

My question is: Can you give him what he needs and can he give you what you need? If not, you will ei­ther have to do the healthy choice for you both and break it off. If the answer is yes, then by all means, embrace his moods.

The reality is: You cannot heal him. You don’t have that kind of power. Only he can heal himself with the help of a professional.

With affection,

Manay Gina

“Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important in­gredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” – Marilu Henner

Send questions to dearmanay­gina@yahoo.com

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