Ms. Cruz,
Virgin pa po ako at never pa po akong nakipag-sex. Noong minsan po ay ipinasok ng boyfriend ko ang fingers nya ang sakit po and parang sore po sya after. Tumigil lang po sya when I pretended na nag orgasm ako kahit hindi. Hindi po ako nagenjoy sa experience and iniisip ko po kung ganun ba talaga dapat kasakit yon. May mali po ba sakin? Natatakot po akong maging mas masakit yung sex. Hanggang kelan po until maging masarap na sya? Thanks po.
Finger Food
Hello Finger Food,
I feel like hindi ka natuwa sa iyong naging experience. Pero even if that may be the case, maganda din naman na you’re aware and in touch of how you are feeling physically and emotionally. I think better din if you are honest with your partner kung merong any discomfort during activities.
Maraming nagiging dahilan ang pagiging sore or yung pain na nararamdaman during penetration. Pero this does not mean din that it will always be the case in the future sa lahat ng mga magiging sexual activities mo. The penetration kasi, lalo na kapag first time, may cause the hymen to break. Manipis na membrane ito sa iyong vaginal canal. Take it slow. Chill lang. Pwedeng time first muna kung hindi ka talaga komportable.
Try communicating with your partner about what is painful or hindi komportable for you. Explore with him other ways of enjoying intimacy with each other. Baka medyo awkward lang ng konti pag usapan ang ganitong topic. Pero in the long run, mas okay pa rin na aware kayo sa nararamdaman ng bawat isa. It is perfectly okay to tell him na mas magdahan-dahan muna kahit in the middle ng ginagawa ninyo.
Ang orgasm at enjoyment ay hindi naman lagi lang nakukuha through penetration. Pwede nyo ring iexplore ang clitoral stimulation. Or pwede din namang mix and match nyo ang dalawa para makita ninyo what is working for you. Pwede mo rin itong iexplore on your own. Nangangapa ka pa for now. Ituloy mo lang ang pagkapa kung saan ka matutuwa.
Pero kung tuloy tuloy pa rin at nakakabother na ang pain, always best to consult pa rin a health professional. Magkahalong pasensya at exploration lang ang kailangan para malaman mo alin ang masarap for you. In search for your enjoyment, wag kalilimutan ang pagiging always safe, in more ways than one!
With Love and Lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @_ricacruz and www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
