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‘Pleasant enough’ isn’t enough

 

dgna dearg dear gna Manay GINA de Venecia dear inang mahal

Dear Manay Gina,

I think my husband is a chronic philanderer. He had at least two affairs in the past 28 years of our marriage. What’s worse is he has never apologized for his actions. He says if he was warm and loving, that should be enough for me, and I should get over his wrongdoings. I say that our marriage is pleasant enough. But he is not warm and loving and he also continues to have multiple phone numbers and multiple e-mails in his name. I’m not accusing him of romancing women, but I feel very insecure.

Darwina

 

Dear Darwina,

Your husband is denying you the healing and the intimacy you desire. Catching him cheating, again and again, can be exhausting.

As to the status of your marriage, a “pleasant enough” situation isn’t a very high standard in a husband. Pleasant enough is the ultimate standard you set for your beautician, not your husband.

My hope is mainly for yourself. I think, you just need to value yourself more. An apology is not the most your husband can give to you, it is the very least he can offer. And he is not even willing to do that. Analyze the pros and cons in your marriage, and then, do what you want to do. And while you’re at it, think that life is short, and you shouldn’t live it feeling small and insecure.

With affection,

Manay Gina

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“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West

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Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com.

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