BY RICA CRUZ
Good Day Doc Rica,
I am in a long term relationship with a guy. Lahat naman po ng relationships ko in the past were with boys lang. Pagdating sa porn preference, yung gusto ko lang panoorin is yung mga lesbian porn. Kaya minsan, I also have doubts kung straight ba ako or something. There are also times na I masturbate and fantasize about women.
I still enjoy sex with my partner naman. But I do enjoy it more when he goes down on me rather than the penile penetration. Does this mean I am bisexual? Is it normal to fantasize about the same sex?
Thank you,
White Clock
Dear White Clock,
Thank you so much for your question and congratulations with your engagement. I want you to feel comfortable with your question. Hindi naman ikaw lang ang nakakaramdam or nagtatanong ng ganyan.
Fantasies are normal and everyone has them. Iba iba naman ang mga purposes ng mga pantasya natin. Pwede kasi netong i-explore yung mga element ng ating sexuality na maaring taboo or hindi tayo komportable sa ating buhay. Or pwede din naman itong exciting escape from the usual or routine na ating nararanasan. The brain is the central organ of pleasure, ayon sa mga research. Kaya nga may mga babaeng nakakapag orgasm batay lang sa mga pantasya nila. Maganda ding gamitin ang mga pantasya natin for arousal and to make sexual experiences pleasurable.
Sexual identity is defined by many factors. Hindi lamang ito dahil pinagpapantasyahan mo ang opposite or same sex mo. Physical, Emotional, Social networks, relationships and others matter in finding out your sexual identity. Maraming researchers ang nagsasabing isang spectrum ang sexuality. Ang homosexuality and heterosexuality ay nasa magkabilang dulo nito at maraming nasa gitna ng spectrum na ito. I feel that what you have to do is be comfortable with your sexuality, wag kang makulong with the definition or ikumpara ang iyong sarili, unique ka so be comfortable, girl!
Lastly, you can probably consider sharing your fantasies or desire to your partner. Malay mo magamit nyo ito with role playing or baka samahan ka pa nyang manood ng lesbian porn. It may be something that can spice up your sex life. Exciting diba? So good luck, always enjoy but be safe!
With love and lust,
Doc Rica
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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, Sex Educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and facebook.com/ConservativeAko and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her podcast, bit.ly/conservativeako on Spotify. Join the Conservative Ako Community on Facebook for more advise on sex and love!
