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What’s wrong with me?

I have been happily married for 31 years. Last year I went to my high-school reunion and ran into an old flame. We started talking and, to make a long story short, began an affair. He’s married too. I really love him, and I always have, but situations and youth kept us from being together. Now our marital status keeps us apart. If my husband found out about this, he would be devastated. I also love him. What I want is to be with both of them. What’s wrong with me?