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Healing takes time

Our newborn son died about two years ago. He would have been our first boy. When it happened, I suffered a breakdown, and my husband was supportive through that time. He never felt the need to go to personal therapy with me. But now that I’m doing better, he’s not. Grief seems to be making him, at different times, both depressed and angry. He doesn’t want to seek any advice, and he doesn’t want my help. What can I do?

There is a definite pattern in his unemployment. At first, the new job is wonderful, the people are nice, and the work is exciting. After a few months, trouble begins – invariably with his supervisor. What follows is either a dismissal or a search for the next “dream job,” where, of course, the cycle repeats again.

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My teenage daughter is driving me mad. She has met this 23-year-old loser, and there is no reasoning with her. This guy that she has known for three months has no job, undergraduate, and easy-go-lucky. He was also in jail for days because of a fight with some kids their age. It happened when my daughter was with her. Now that this person is out of jail, he claims to has changed his ways. All through her life my daughter has not given me any trouble and has been honest. Since she met him. Even her friends don’t like this guy, but no one can reason with her. This is also her first boyfriend. I’m at my wits end and see her going in the wrong direction with this guy.

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One of our readers, Mr. Jun Gador was kind enough to share some tips to break bad habits, in reaction to one of our past columns. Here, he shares personal and practical strategies that work for sure. We agree with the suggestions that’s why we are sharing his life lessons. Here are some practical guidelines to happy living, according to Jun:

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The notebook

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I have been in a committed relationship with a woman I love very much. Everything was going great until I picked up a notebook from her table and looked inside it. In it, she had written a note about her thoughts on her ex-boyfriend, her first real relationship. I was shocked to read of her continuing feelings for him, and that I would never replace him in her heart. I know that diaries are places where people work out all kinds of personal things that are not meant to be shared. Nonetheless, I read it, and it has been weighing heavily on me. Our relationship has not changed, and she is as loving as ever, but I feel terribly insecure. Since I obtained this information by invading her privacy, I feel like I have no right to confront her about my discovery. Please advise.

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Former Commission on Elections Chairman Benjamin S. Abalos Sr. has been acquitted of graft charges in connection with the $329-million National Broadband Network-ZTE deal in 2007.

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