DO you communicate with your social media friends as much as you do with your real-life friends? Are you glued to your gadget when you are with your loved ones, thus making you “close” to online friends, but making the people who are actually with you and for you feel taken for granted? Is there a line that separates your virtual self from your private self? Which of the two really matters?
Some of my favorite persons are not my Facebook friends. There’s a big difference between offline and online relationships. I choose to give more time for the former than the latter. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate my social media friends and the wonderful, entertaining things they share, but during moments when I need someone to be there for me, who among my hundreds of Facebook friends can I expect to drop what they’re doing and listen to me? If you have five thousand Facebook friends, how many of them will travel kilometers or spend their precious time when you need someone to be there? Who knows – and frankly, can you even expect that much?
Majority of our Facebook friends are only available online. They may even choose not to be active on social media for days, weeks, or months without a need to explain. If you discover that you have been unfriended by somebody on FB, that’s another proof of how temporary and shallow online connections are. Yet, how many of us spend so much time interacting with social media friends to the detriment of school/work obligations and real, personal relationships?
How many people can’t even glance when giving a one-word reply to their parents, partners and friends, but are very quick to post their comments and reactions to FB posts? They regularly update the public, but they fail to communicate with the ones who truly care about them.
Even if there are ten among your 5,000 FB friends who are willing to give you advice on a certain matter, do these people really know you? Do they have even just a glimpse of the old “you”, your school life, your family, what you are, and even your idiosyncrasies? It is very likely that most of our FB friends know us based only on what we post online – selected and limited – most of the time, edited! There is hardly any depth in such connection. Real, worthwhile relationships take so much to develop.
Do your social media friends feel your online presence while the people who truly care about you feel your absence?
Social media helps enhance relationships and bridges the gap when physical distance becomes a challenge, but it should never replace real, warm relationships.
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Marilyn Arayata: inspirational author, columnist, speaker, and former DLSU-D faculty. E-mail [email protected].
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