By: Rica Cruz
Hi Ms. Rica,
Is there any advice you can give for someone who’s falling in love with their best friend? We’re both single. Dapat ko po bang sabihin or itago ko na lang? Do you think she feels the same way about me?
Salamat po, U
Hi U,
Love is complicated. I feel you. If it’s simple, I would tell you to marry your best friend. Marry agad? Agad agad?! Haha.
In my practice, whenever I see couples about to get married, I tell them that the person they’re marrying should be their best friend.
Why? Because from years of scientific studies, it has been proven that friendship is one of the main factors that’s needed to make a marriage last. And not only that, those who consider their partners their “best friend” tend to have double the level of happiness and satisfaction than those who do not.
Plus, their overall health and wellbeing are twice as better than the others. Grabe no? All these benefits, when you marry your best friend! Less hatred, maybe no resentments, and happier and healthier in general!
Pero siyempre, hindi naman ganoon kadali yun. Pwede rin naman kasi na maging best friends kayo in the process of dating each other. But your situation is entirely different – matagal na kayong magkaibigan, malalim na ang inyong pinagsamahan, kaya siyempre, ayaw mong masira yun.
So what are you supposed to do? First, I would suggest for you to think long and hard to reflect if you’re really in love with her. Baka kasi natutuwa ka lang.
Will you put her happiness first before yours? Do you wish the best for her? Do you want to take care of her no matter what? If you answered “yes” to those questions, then baka nga naiin-love ka na.
Then we move on. Gusto ka rin ba niya? I wouldn’t know. The way I see it, kung gusto mong malaman, there’s only one way to find out: Tell her how you feel and ask if she feels the same way. If she does, then yay!
If she doesn’t, then you’ll know na hanggang platonic level lang ang relationship niyo. It will be awkward at first, but with the two of you being adults, you can talk about it without ruining your friendship. What’s important is that you are both honest with each other.
As I tell my students: You will never know an answer to a question you did not ask. Hindi mo malalaman, lalo na kung itatago mo lang. At kung itatago mo naman, mas magiging masakit ang pagsisisi kapag may boyfriend na siyang iba. Di ba? Kung kaya mong tiisin ‘yun, then, go ahead.
So, what’s the best advice that I can give you? Do something about it now and be honest about your feelings. In time, you will feel so much better by telling her the truth and it will be easier for you to move forward with your friendship, and malay mo, maybe even a relationship? #takeitfromthesexymind
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.