By: Rica Cruz
Hi Ms Rica,
I have a problem. When my girlfriend goes down on me, I can stay hard and finish even more than twice. Pero hindi kami makapag-intercourse kasi whenever we use a condom, I lose getting hard. I can get hard and aroused quickly but, it becomes soft whenever we have a condom on. Pero kung walang condom during oral sex, I have no problem. Ano ba and nangyayari and ano ba ang pwedeng gawin?
Hard and Soft
Hi Hard and Soft,
Madaming pwedeng rason sa pagiging hard and soft mo, and your experience is relatively common. In fact, around 50% of men lose their hardness when putting a condom on. So you’re not alone.
Anyway, you might want to consider the following:
1. Are you using condoms that fit you properly? Pwede kasing masyadong malaki or pwede ring masyadong masikip. Either way, if the condom does not fit properly, it could lead to becoming a softie. As far as I know, there are different sizes (and kinds) of condoms available sa suking tindahan. Choose one that fits you.
2. Does your condom take away the sensation? Pwede kasing you’re used to stimulation without it during oral sex, na kapag meron na during intercourse, the latex reduces the sensation. Kaya, nawawala din ang excitement mo. Why don’t you try using a condom during oral sex, para masanay ka sa sensation. Use the thinner kinds of condoms for optimum stimulation.
3. Do you have any other form of contraception? If you’re getting anxious about unplanned pregnancy, that can definitely kill the mood. You may want to discuss with your girlfriend other forms of contraception such as the pill or IUD, so you will not primarily rely on the condom. Dapat din na magpa-screen kayo ng girlfriend mo for STIs just to be sure that you’re both safe.
4. Minsan, erection loss can be associated with psychological conditions like anxiety and depression. So kung stressed ka at work or may iba kang issues, feel free to go to a professional to address these concerns.
Whatever the matter is, remember that intercourse is not always the goal. Sex comes in different forms, and as long as you and your girlfriend are satisfied, you need not worry too much about other things! Good luck!
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.