By: Rica Cruz
Hi Ms. Rica,
I’m 17-years-old and I have a boyfriend. I heard that you were doing a study on oral sex and I may need some help. My boyfriend and I do oral play but we do not have intercourse. When I go down on him, he loves it. But when he does it to me, I don’t feel anything. Kaya I end up faking the Big O kahit hindi ko pa siya na-experience (ginagaya ko lang ung mga napapanood ko!). Am I too young to feel it? Is there something wrong with me?
Too Young To Come
Hi TYTC,
Let me start by telling you that you’re not too young to experience an orgasm. There are girls who have been having orgasms since childhood.
Pero it’s also common for young women (under 20) to be pre-orgasmic. The good news is that women usually realize their first orgasm during college days!
So nothing’s wrong with you. Maybe you just haven’t learned how to get to the Big O just yet.
You say that you do not feel anything when he goes down on you. Anong ibig sabihin nun? Does it mean that you’re not sexually aroused and you’re just going through the motions? Or it does feel good, it’s just that you don’t get to that orgasmic stage?
I always tell my clients to avoid faking it. Why? Because when you fake your O, you’re not just cheating your partner, you’re also cheating yourself?
How would your partner help you get to that Big O if he thinks that he’s already pleasing you even if he’s not? Di ba?
So I think that starting to get to that elusive O means that you should first stop faking it. There’s nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend for a little help by being honest with him.
Once done with that, it’s time to experiment! Touching yourself is a way to explore. Use your fingers and see what it feels good for you.
You can also ask your boyfriend to touch you gently while you get yourself to relax and enjoy the sensations.
Orgasm is a learned physiological response – your goal is to discover how to get there! So goodluck and have fun learning! #takeitfromthesexymind
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram:_ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.