By: Rica Cruz
Dear Ms. Rica,
Is it normal for a boy to go to a strip club? I’m in a relationship po with someone for the past three years. Two weeks ago, he decided to go to a strip club. Nagpaalam naman po siya at pumayag po ako because I felt that it will be OK for me. Pero right now, I get this feeling na I’m not enough. What should I do?
No Strip Girl
Hi No Strip Girl,
Thank you for being honest with me about how you feel. It does sound like you’re bothered by your boyfie’s visit to the strip club.
Mahirap magsabi kung ano ang “normal” at kung ano ang “acceptable” pero if something in your relationship makes you feel bad, then you need to talk about this with your boyfriend.
As his girlfriend, you deserve to feel valued and appreciated by him. At kailangan din na maintindihan niya ang nararamdaman mo.
Attitudes about going to the strip joints greatly vary.
May mga tao who feel that strip clubs degrade and exploit women. They may also feel that it is inappropriate for men with partners to go to such places.
Meron din namang mga tao who are more open to the idea. They see going to the strip club as a healthy expression of their sexuality. Sabi nga ng iba, a strip club can also help women because it is a good source of income.
Ikaw? Ano sa tingin mo ung nakakapagpabagabag sa iyo? What made you feel inadequate?
Having an open, honest, and non-accusatory communication with your boyfie may help you express your feelings and better understand your boyfriend’s motivations.
The fact na nagpaalam siya sayo before he went is a good sign that he respects your opinion and feelings. Nakausap mo na ba siya about this? What made him go? How was his experience? Alam ba niya na nabo-bother ka ngayon?
If you talk about how you feel with him, maybe he can relieve your fears and assure you that you are enough for him.
It is possible for people to be in a happy and loving relationship, and also enjoy going to the strip club.
Visiting a strip club may also be an inspiration for fantasy, but in no way a replacement of the love, support, and intimacy that his relationship with you provides.
Do know though that however you feel about this experience is valid. So don’t be afraid to say it. Again, you deserve to feel loved, respected, and valued by your boyfriend (and vice versa). Good luck! #takeitfromthesexymind.
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
