By: Erik Espina
BEING buried in a foreign country as final resting place must be a lonely affair. You are in unknown territory in the land not of your birth. Nor of early memories, kindling experiences and fond hopes. You are, technically speaking, in alien grounds sharing a plot of soil or tomb stone with strangers not of your race. Such a sad fate chosen by circumstances rather than an outright choice to fulfill a final will, to be brought back home to your people, to the very grounds of your origin is tragic, in one sense.
In the land of cold air, even winters, and adopted customs, expect not to be visited with flowers, prayers, and masses of remembrance. There is no special day to commemorate the passing of a family member in Westernized ways. Here, time is gold. The premium is in being productive. To be alone and outstanding. Do not expect your family or countrymen then, to find a collective commemoration to gather where you lay.
Don’t hold your breath as there is no definite day they will come? Or if ever, within a year passing can you expect them to be making you part of their busy schedule. Visiting the dead is almost a chore, and not a personal commitment. It is an environment so unlike the culture of the Filipino who prioritizes family, living or dead, as a personal appointment, in fact a national pause, to be with love-ones, and to re-connect with relatives.
This may be a day for the dead, yet it is also a celebration of life. Family members spanning the ages make the dead part of their convention, tucked with embraces, kisses, and stories to honor or humor those that passed on. With candles and rosary thrown in the mix of chairs, tables, a festive repast of barbecue or adobo, spaghetti (or pancit), soft drinks, and cards, all the souls of the family are re-united even for a day.
The old and new generation is updated by the itinerary of every relative, and in that sense, has found another continuum of life, bonding, and persevering in whatever clime and environment. It is the coming together as a social institution over a revered custom that makes of death, a national celebration, a foundation for stronger ties in every Filipino family. Hence, the dead are never lonely. But alive.