By: Rica Cruz
As I’ve said, what happened to you is a form of acquaintance rape. Rape comes when unwanted penetration of someone’s mouth, anus, or vagina by a penis or another object is done.
Rape can also happen when someone has intercourse with another person who is unconscious or unable to give consent because of impairment (pwedeng from alcohol or drugs), physically handicapped, or under age.
I know it’s hard to accept and define what happened to you as rape. That’s normal. Madami sa atin ang umiiwas sa ganitong usapan.
Pero being able to define what happened to you and taking care of yourself are important to start healing. You may not be ready yet, but here are some things that you can look at to help you with the healing process:-
– Look for a safe and trusting environment. Go to your parents, your friends, or any person whom you can trust and whom will not judge you for what happened.
Kailangan makahanap ka ng support group mo na makikinig at tutulong sayo during this time. It may be best na lumayo ka muna sa boyfriend mo, para makapagisip ka nang walang gumagambala. Give yourself some space, it’s okay.
– Go to a counsellor or therapist or any support person. It can also be helpful to go to a support person to help you go through the next steps. This person should be trained in dealing with sexual assault survivors to be able to assist you, listen to you, hand help you understand what happened – mentally, emotionally, physically.
This person can also help you explore the idea of doing something legally. Usually, we have social workers and non-government organizations you can go to. You may also want to go to a spiritual counsellor kung mas makakatulong ito sayo.
– Get yourself checked by a doctor. Isa sa mga pinaka-importanteng gawin after a sexual assault situation is to get yourself checked. A doctor can help you in figuring out any risk for sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.
During the act, pwede rin kasing nakakuha ka ng sugat or other injuries na hindi mo namalayan, kaya mas makakatulong na pumunta ka sa doctor para matignan ito.
– Whatever happens, know that it was not your fault. Because of the stigma and pressures from the society, usually, survivors of sexual assault think na kasalanan nila ung nangyari.
You may feel a lot of guilt and remorse because of what happened and you may resort to self-blame. Naiintindihan ko na pwedeng nakakahiya at nakakaguilty ung nangyari, pero hindi mo ito kasalanan.
Remember that you told him that you did not want to have sex with him, but he chose to continue. He violated your boundaries and disrespected your wish. He did something illegal. Not you.
Alam ko mahirap to go through this. But never forget that there’s always help for you. There are people who will be there to help you sort through your emotions and go through the next steps towards healing.
Hopefully, you will be able to regain your self-respect and feel in control again. And I’m hoping that eventually, you’ll be able to find a man who will completely respect you as a woman. #takeitfromthesexymind
P.S.: We all have the right to stop or say “no” to any form of sexual activity. It is never acceptable to force a person to have sex.
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: @_ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
