By Rica Cruz
I have a girlfriend and we’re in a happy relationship. However, when it comes to sexy time, I cannot ejaculate during penetration, I was able to do it before, pero mabilis lang. Though, I noticed that when she goes down on me, I can orgasm. Do you have tips on what to do so I can feel it inside?
Cannot Come
Hi Cannot Come,
Kudos for being in a strong and happy relationship! It sounds like what you’re experiencing is delayed ejaculation, and it’s normal for men to experience this from time to time. However, we also have to consider how long you’ve been experiencing this, and under what other circumstances it happens. Have you gone to your doctor? Maybe a little health checkup would help shed a light on your situation.
But don’t fret. Again, it’s completely normal to not orgasm during penetration frm time to time. What’s important is that you’re able to reach the big O in other means and that you were able to experience it through intercourse before.
There are a number of physiological and psychological factors that could explain what you’re going through. I suggested that it might help for you to reach out to your doctor as certain medications, infections, and hormone-related conditions could play a huge role in your lack of O in the vaginal area. Psychological reasons could include stress, depression, performance anxiety, relationship/personal problems, fantasy dissociation, and even the stigma that the society puts on sex. If you feel that your mental health is involved, it may be helpful if you discuss these concerns with a counselor.
Another thing that could help you is being able to talk to your girlfriend about this issue. Does she notice that you cannot climax during intercourse? How does it affect her? How does it affect your relationship and your level of sexual satisfaction for each other? Sharing this issue with her will strengthen your relationship as you can work through this together.
As for quick sexy solutions, you may want to try the following during sexy time:
• Position yourself. Experiment with different positions to help you discover what feels best during intercourse.
• Switch. Have your girlfriend do her thing orally, and when you’re about to climax, put it in her and continue until you orgasm.
• Use a toy. There are toys such as C rings that vibrates to give you more sensations and help you and your girlfriend reach that big O together.
• Enjoy the moment. Don’t make reaching the O your goal. Focus on the sensations that you feel during the moment.
This will help you relax and may help you climax inside her! #takeitfromthesexymind
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: @_ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
