By Rica Cruz
Dear Rica:
Merry Christmas po. I need your help po sana as soon as possible. I’m on vacation po sa probinsiya ngayong pasko. My girlfriend is there in Manila. This morning, she admitted that she spent Christmas Eve with someone else, and nag-kiss po daw sila ng guy. She’s saying that she’s sorry and that she regrets it. Pero galit po ako. How can she do this to me? How can I forgive her? How can I trust her again?
Angry Boy
Dear Angry Boy,
I’m sorry that you had to go through this ngayong pasko. It does hurt to have someone betray you and tell you on Christmas day, and now, you’re torn between forgiving her and staying angry at her. The season in itself can make you feel very confused.
It is normal to be angry. I assure you, you have all the right to be angry. She betrayed your trust. But, you should also ask yourself, until when will you stay in this anger? I understand na bago pa lang, isang araw pa lang since she told you, and it may take more days before you can be ready to consider forgiving her, but when that time comes, here are some things that you can consider to help you and your relationship:
• Think about your relationship. What are its flaws? Maybe when you talk to your girlfriend, you can each make a list of what you love about each other and what else needs improving in your relationship. Relationships are more vulnerable to betrayals when you have flaws that you do not try to fix and resolve.
• Discuss with your girlfriend your expectations of her and your relationship and vice versa. Are these expectations reasonable? Kaya bang gawin lalo na when you’re apart next time? What do you expect of each other when you’re physically apart? What should you do when you get invited by the opposite sex to situations that could be intimate?
• Kung hindi niyo makita ung agreement with your expectations of each other, maybe you could both explore spending time apart and allow yourselves to see other people. This can work two ways: First, you may realize that you truly love your girlfriend and that you want to fix things with her; or second, you may feel that it would be better for you both to completely break up and move on.
If you decide to fix your relationship, I would also suggest that you talk to a professional to help you both move forward. Being able to identify your feelings and expressing them are crucial in healing. So be patient with yourself. If your girlfriend is truly sorry, you will be able to forgive her…in time. #takeitfromthesexymind
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Twitter or Instagram: @_ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
good luck making your husband reach that whole new level of satisfaction with you! #takeitfromthesexymind
If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.