By Rica Cruz
Hi Ms. Rica,
I am not on birth control anymore, and I’ve been asking my boyfriend to use a condom para hindi po ako mabuntis.
Kaso nga lang po, he says it’s hard for him na matapos kapag naka-condom. Hindi daw po siya na-stimulate kapag naka-condom.
Ayaw ko po mabuntis, kaya we decide to abstain from sex, but I feel that it’s not good for our relationship. What can we do?
No Climax Boyfriend
Hi No Climax Boyfriend,
I’m so sorry that you and your boyfriend are having problems in your sex life (or lack thereof). Totoo nga, na if you’re boyfriend is used to having ejaculations and orgasms in a certain way (with no condom) it may be a challenge for him if it changes.
Pero, it does not mean that you need to stop having sex altogether. Tell your boyfriend that there are different ways to help him achieve orgasm and embrace this change for the better!
1. There are men who find it pleasurable kapag may water-based lube inside and outside the condom. The lubricant will lessen the friction, and provide a more warm, slippery environment for him.
So instead of wearing the condom lang, apply lube inside and outside to mimic a vagina-like environment.
2. Try different types of condoms. May iba kasing condom na makapal talaga, meron naman na manipis, to the extent that some men say that they don’t feel like wearing one!
So maybe, tell your boyfriend to experiment with different brands and different types.
3. To help him have an orgasm while wearing a condom, ask him to masturbate while wearing one! Yes, it may sound strange, but for him to get used to it, he has to learn how to climax in a condom.
To make it more exciting for him, pwede mo siya tulungan by touching, rubbing, or sucking different parts of his body.
Also, baka naman may takot din ung boyfriend mo about the reliability of a condom. That can keep him stressed and not able to ejaculate inside you. Hence, I would suggest that you talk to your respective doctors to discuss other ways of contraception that both of you could enjoy, like the diaphragm, cervical cap, IUD, or contraceptive sponge.
That way, hindi niyo kailangan tumigil sa pageenjoy sa isa’t isa. Madaming paraan, and I hope you get to find the one that will make you both feel safe, secure, and satisfied. #takeitfromthesexymind
With love and lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Sex and Relationships Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
