By Rica Cruz
Hello Ms. Cruz,
Virgin pa po ako at never pa po akong nakipag-sex. Noong minsan po ay ipinasok ng boyfriend ko ang fingers niya. Ang sakit po and parang sore po siya after. Tumigil lang po siya when I pretended na nag-orgasm ako kahit hindi. Hindi po ako nag-enjoy sa experience and iniisip ko po kung ganun ba talaga dapat kasakit iyon. May mali po ba sa akin?
Natatakot po akong maging mas masakit ‘yung sex. Hanggang kelan po until maging masarap na siya?
Thanks po,
Finger Food
Hi Finger Food,
Sounds like hindi ka talaga natuwa sa iyong naging experience.
Pero even if that may be the case, maganda din naman na you’re aware and in touch of how you are feeling physically and emotionally. I think better din if you are honest with your partner kung merong any discomfort during activities.
Maraming nagiging dahilan ng pagiging sore or ‘yung pain na nararamdaman during penetration. Pero this does not mean din that it will always be the case in the future sa lahat ng mga magiging sexual activities mo.
The penetration kasi, lalo na kapag first time, may cause the hymen to break at pwedeng maging masakit. Ang hymen ay manipis na membrane that covers your vaginal canal. Pwede ring hindi ka lubricated noong ipinasok niya ang finger niya kaya ka nasaktan.
Take it slow. Chill lang. Pwedeng time first muna kung hindi ka talaga komportable.
Try communicating with your partner about what is painful or hindi komportable for you. Explore with him other ways of enjoying intimacy with each other.
Baka medyo awkward lang ng konti pagusapan ang ganitong topic. Pero in the long run, mas okay pa rin na aware kayo sa nararamdaman ng bawat isa.
It is perfectly okay to tell him na mas mag-dahan-dahan muna kahit in the middle ng ginagawa ninyo. Ang orgasm at enjoyment ay hindi naman lagi lang nakukuha through penetration.
Pwede ninyo ring i-explore ang clitoral stimulation. Or pwede din namang mix and match ninyo ang dalawa para makita ninyo what is working for you.
Pwede mo rin itong i-explore on your own. Nangangapa ka pa for now. Ituloy mo lang ang pagkapa kung saan ka matutuwa.
Pero kung tuloy-tuloy pa rin at nakaka-bother na ang pain, always best to consult a health professional. Magkahalong pasensiya at exploration lang ang kailangan para malaman mo alin ang masarap for you.
In search for your enjoyment, ‘wag kalilimutan ang pagiging always safe! #takeitfromthesexymind
With love and lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Sex and Relationships Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
