Dear Rica,
Me and my husband have been married for four years. Nakita kong through the years, nabawasan na ang frequency ng aming pagse-sex. Noong una ay parang halos every day tapos naging twice a week then once a month hanggang sa halos hindi na. Araw-araw siyang nagma-masturbate at nanonood lagi ng porn. Sinabi ko na sa kanyang masakit ‘yon for me at minsan naiisip ko nang maghanap ng iba. Sinubukan ko nang magsuot ng mga sexy na pantulog, sex toys, or minsan nga sinusubo ko na agad ‘yung penis niya sa kama pero ayaw niya pa rin. Kinonfront ko din siya kung may iba ba pero wala naman daw. Busy siya lagi sa trabaho at pag nasa bahay, gusto niya lang manood ng TV at matulog. Help po please.
Taken for Granted
Hi Taken for Granted,
Seems like your relationship is in trouble. Malaking problema ang pagkakaroon ng sexless marriage or pakikipagsex 10 times or less sa isang taon while an average sexy time is once a week for married couples.
Ang marriage ay mayroong ups and downs, pero pag nasasamaha nito ng sexual tension and lack of intimacy, mas nagiging mahirap ang relasyon.
Walang instant fix sa inyong problems ngayon dahil every relationship has a lot of varying factors. Ibig sabihin, magkakaiba ang approach and solution to relationship problems. Kailangan ninyong mag-reflect kung ano ang kailangan ninyo sa relasyon ninyo and kung ano ang mga puwede ninyong icompromise pareho ng asawa mo.
Sa palagay ko, you and your husband need to seek help from a relationship therapist or marriage counselor. Kung hindi ito maaayos through the help of a professional, kailangan nang ire-evaluate kung healthy pa ba para sa inyong dalawa to be in that relationship.
Ang panonood ng porn ng iyong partner at ang pagma-masturbate every day ay hindi naman talaga problema. Pero kung nagkakaroon na ng neglect o nagiging dahilan na ito ng distress sa inyong samahan, kailangan nang may gawin about it. Naiintindihan ko na your needs are being overlooked kaya nga naaapektuhan ka na din at napapaisip maghanap ng iba.
I hope you also consider pleasuring yourself for your sexual needs before you consider and do anything that can damage the relationship permanently.
Partnership ang marriage at kailangan ninyong mag-cooperate with each other to move forward. Kailangan ninyo din maintindihan na hindi ninyo macocontrol ang feelings ng isa’t-isa.
Kung cooperation na mismo ang nawawala despite communicating with your husband, kailangan mong pag-aralan kung healthy pa ba ang relasyong ito. Seek help para mas maliwanagan ka and find comfort and peace of mind. Good luck. #takeitfromthesexymind
With love and lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Couples and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
