GOING H’WOOD – Highspeed is once again going Hollywood…meaning nasty and bitchy, courtesy of Boze Hadleigh’s “Hollywood Babble On.”
“I was on television, and somebody asked me what did I think of Jacqueline Susann. I said, ‘She looks like a truck driver in drag.’ She was watching the show, and she fell out of bed… She sued me for a million dollars, but she was told that she had better drop that lawsuit because all they had to do is bring 10 truck drivers into court and put them on the witness stand and you’ve lost your case. Because she DID look like a truck driver in drag.” – TRUMAN CAPOTE
“I was invited to a screening of ‘Samson and Delilah,’ starring Victor Mature and Hedy Lammar. Afterward, one studio brass asked me how I liked it. I replied, ‘I never like a movie where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.” – GROUCHO MARX
“Where else but in America can a poor black boy like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?” – RED BUTTONS
“Robert Morley is a legend in his own lunchtime.” – REX HARRISON
“Liz Taylor should be grateful to me–my jokes are one of the reasons she went on a diet. It was embarrassing. When I took her to Sea World and Shamu the Whale jumped out of the water, she asked if it came with vegetables.” – JOAN RIVERS
“Have you met Jack Palance? He once played Attila the Hun. The man is frightening! If there really were a Dracula, he’d be it.” – JUDITH ANDERSON
“Sly Stallone is five-seven, I believe. Shorter than you’d think – not just short on talent. Anyway, he only hires actors his height or shorter, unless they’re to play some kind of freak villain. I’ll never work with Stallone unless I let him shoot me, and I’ll never let myself get THAT desperate!” – BURT LANCASTER
Americans want to divide all women into ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly.’ In French, we have a word, JOLIE-LAIDE; it is a combination of two, and it suits a lot of actresses…like Sandra Bernhard.” – YVES MONTAND
