NOBODY wants a failed or dysfunctional marriage yet so many couples try to survive their perpetually flawed marriage day after day.
Think of two people dancing to two different tunes – the effect is they step on each other’s feet!
Habits contribute so much to the success or the demise of one’s marriage. Therefore it is safe to say that when we have good practices, we can hope for a better marriage. Here are five habits that could potentially destroy a marriage. See if you can identify with them and commit to change that habit into a more productive one.
- The habit of criticizing our spouse all the time
When we are disappointed with our spouse, it is so tempting that we speak negatively to them. While this response may happen from time to time, it shouldn’t become a habit and much worse, it shouldn’t justify the act of criticizing our spouse.
Criticism is not helpful in a marriage. Let’s work to speak words of encouragement and develop a habit of speaking softly and calmly to our spouse not only to avoid conflict but because they deserve to be treated that way.
- The habit of avoiding meaningful talks with our spouse
When a couple is not on the same page about something and arguments begin to surface, it becomes a natural retort to stay away and avoid all sorts of communication with each other.
Avoiding our spouse when we are angry at them is a common defense but an unhelpful one. Learning to open up to our spouse about how we feel is a good way of rebuilding whatever was broken and a good step to restoring the intimacy.
- The habit of opening up our feelings to other people and not our spouse
When we feel detached from our spouse because of unresolved conflicts, there is a big chance that we look for comfort in other people. We go to our friends or family hoping that they would understand how we feel.
This habit is dangerous because our moments of vulnerability can open doors for emotional affairs. When we are faced with situations like this, it is important that we turn to friends who will encourage us to reconnect with our spouse.
- The habit of using sex as a reward or punishment
How many of you know that the physical intimacy between a couple suffer first when a marriage is conflicted?
Either we do not want to have sex with our spouse because he or she did us wrong or we only have sex during times when we are treated right.
Often times, sex becomes a reward or a punishment – now this habit is a marriage-destroyer! Unsolicited advice: Never use sex as a weapon against your spouse.
- The habit of negative thinking
Entertaining negative mindsets about our marriage is very dangerous. This can become a trap that we fall into each time we argue or feel disappointed with our spouse.
Let us remember that whatever we nurture in our minds makes it easier for us to act on.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Which among the five habits listed above can you relate to? How can you avoid this habit from potentially destroying your marriage? What are other unhealthy practices that pose harm to your marriage and how can you avoid these practices from turning into habits?
“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt everyday” – Andre Maurois