WE teach children and teen-agers a lot of things – how to avoid wounds, bruises, and accidents, how to cook, how to avoid kidnappers, how to earn a degree, how to avoid diseases, how to choose friends, how to make money, and many others. These are all important, but do we also teach them how to cope with life’s pressures? We should. For one thing, the parents won’t always be around and strong enough to guide them. Second, life’s challenges are constant. Third, coping with challenges, although better done with a supportive network of relatives and friends – is basically a personal thing. If there’s one thing a human being can control, it’s his own thoughts. His relatives and friends can not ward negative thoughts off his mind. It’s his own mind. They can only encourage him and support him.
No matter how much you assure children and young people that you are always there for them, dealing with life’s blows is something they should learn early in life. People can’t just switch from loneliness to happiness, from hopelessness to positivity with a flick of a finger… or after a good counsel.
Teach children and teen-agers how to deal with pain without resorting to vices, how to accept rejection, criticisms, and defeat. Let young people understand that a love affair that ends doesn’t mean the end of life. Tell them about people who pursue their passion and seek to reach out to others. In doing so, they somehow forget or they no longer have time and energy to worry about things they cannot control.
Tell them stories of people who went through different kinds of suffering, but still managed to make their lives successful and happy. Everybody goes through a season of difficulty. Inspiring stories can give children and teen-agers the motivation they need.
Let them know that they can talk to you about anything that troubles them and that it’s okay to admit that they’re not okay. Make them understand that it’s okay to seek help.
Too much love can tempt parents to always shield their children from pains and sufferings and to solve the children’s problems. Teach them to learn how to cope with pains and sufferings positively. Train them to figure out how to solve big and small problems. Guide them. Help them. They need to feel that they are individuals who can do things by themselves with a little help from adults. These are the effective ways to empower them. If you’ll do these, you’ll know that they will be strong enough to face life even when you are no longer around.
