Hi Ms Rica,
Hope you can help me po. I want to last longer in bed but I don’t know what to do. Are there methods to try out?
Thank you,
Longer
Hi Longer,
Thank you for reading my column. Sana ay may natututunan ka from reading it. If I understand it correctly, you want to last longer, meaning, gusto mong ma-delay ang iyong ejaculation?
Ejaculation often happens during orgasm and that is a learned response. Ibig sabihin, pwedeng matutunan and pag-stimulate at pag-hawak to effectively give you that orgasm. Now, think about what makes you excited and gets you off agad-agad?
Have you considered trying different variations of touch and strokes (slower, softer, harder, faster, etc.)? Kapag iniba-iba mo, it can actually help in controlling your automatic ejaculatory response.
You can also try the “start-stop” technique. For example, kapag feeling mo na malapit ka na matapos, you have to stop whatever you’re doing. Tumigil ka and do nothing, except breathing. Taking long breaths can help calm you down until the need to orgasm disappears.
Tapos, pag wala na, you can start again. Then stop again when you feel that you’re about to get there. It will take you a few tries to figure out the exact moment na kailangan mo tumigil. Pero practice can help you master this technique.
Now what if you have a partner? Medyo awkward naman kung bigla kang tumigil and do nothing, right? So what can you do when you stop. You can hold him/her. You can stimulate him/her in other ways. Pwede fingers, pwede ring toys. Be creative. As long as it doesn’t push you over the edge.
Another technique that you can try is the “squeeze technique.” This works by squeezing your manhood for a few seconds. Saan at paano mo i-squeeze? I’ll try my best to describe: Hold your manhood with your thumb on the ridge (sa ibaba ng ulo) and your index and middle finger on the opposite side. (Kung nalilito ka, may mga photos online na pwede mong gayahin. I-Google mo lang!)
When you’ve figured it out, squeeze for three-four seconds. The squeeze actually takes away the desire to orgasm make you last longer. Pero just like the other technique, this takes practice to work effectively. Kaya be patient with yourself. Good luck!
With love and lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @_ricacruz and www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
