DISAGREEMENTS between married couples are perceived as normal because we understand that two people coming from different backgrounds are most likely to show differences in their personalities, behaviors, and preferences.
And as you share your life with your friends and community, you will realize that you share similar issues when it comes to the disagreements you and your spouse face.
Let’s see the Top 5 issues that couples disagree about:
- Preferential issues
When we talk about preferential issue, it is all about LIKES and DISLIKES. Because both of you were raised in diverse environments – place, values, and habits – you will most likely have different preferences when it comes to things, decisions, and even principles.
A wife who grew up with an absentee dad may have a different view on parenting compared to a husband who grew up with a complete family. A husband who grew up in a family that sees Christmas as something every family should enjoy will have a different perspective and preference from a wife who never really celebrated Christmas with her family.
The solution: Be transparent with each other and communicate what works and what doesn’t for you. Work on understanding each other’s backgrounds and how these affect your spouse’s preferences.
- Career issues
If you ended up with a spouse who’s in the same profession as you are in, good for you! There’s little adjustment needed to understand each other’s career.
But what if you married someone who has very different interests from you? What if your views on employment are too different from each other?
A husband who was exposed to business since he was little will likewise consider business as the best source of income while a wife who grew up with parents who were employed all their lives will see employment as a more secure way of providing money for the family.
The solution: Communicate with each other about your expectations when it comes to providing for the family. Work on showing support for each other’s career.
- Physical intimacy or sex issues
Issues about physical intimacy and sex show up when both the couple’s plates are full – work, children, chores, and financial challenges. With all these pressing issues, sex will most likely take the back seat, at least for the spouse who is bombarded by all these issues.
The scenario: The husband comes home (after a long day at work) to a wife who has all the house chores to herself. The husband now expects his wife to be physically available for him only to get rejected or vice versa.
The point is at least one of you no longer make yourself physically available for your spouse. Sad and most of the time it is a true story.
The solution: Include sex in your schedule. Yes you heard it right. Just like other things on our to-do list, physical intimacy with your spouse requires your time, so you need to be intentional about making it a priority.
- Trust issues
Some trust issues among married couples go way back to their childhood days. A lot of occurrences in your past can be the reason for your trust or mistrust at the present. A wife who grew up with a father who engaged himself in several extramarital affairs can develop trust issues with her spouse.
The solution: Understand the reason behind the mistrust and make it a point to assure each other on a regular basis.
- Money issues
And the No. 1 spot goes to money issues. It’s a no-brainer how money issues seem to be the constant reason for a conflict between couples.
Money is powerful and if you and your spouse fail to work together as team when it comes to your finances, you will definitely struggle with money issues throughout the course of your marriage.
Most problems on money among married couples arise during times of lack. When monthly due dates and other bills start bugging you to get them paid and money is nowhere to be found, you just can’t help but become very upset. And who’s there to catch your disappointment? Your spouse!
The solution: Start to practice good money habits and get your spouse and your entire family involved. When both of you are on the same page in handling your finances, it becomes easier for you to achieve your financial goals.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
What are the Top 5 issues that you and your spouse often disagree about? Do you find these issues recurring every time you fight? Do you want to avoid and fix this?
