Dear Manay Gina,
I and my husband have been married for seven years. But even if both of us are working, we still don’t have a sizeable investment because my husband is a big spender. In addition, he also has a knack for lying. I found this out when our house was almost foreclosed by the bank. He swore it wouldn’t happen again but he soon went back to his old spending ways until we find ourselves in heavy debt once more.
Any advice on what I should do?
Cindy
Dear Cindy,
Based on your account, your husband has a spending pathology and a responsibility problem. To protect your personal finances from being wiped out, keep separate checking, savings and spending accounts to ensure that there will be funds available for paying the bills. It may also be helpful to set up mutual amounts for you and your husband, meaning, that you each receive a specific spending amount that can be used in any way that you each prefer without any guilt on how or where this amount is spent.
Most importantly, try to develop ways that you can enjoy life together more by planning for them, rather than giving into immediate indulges that create spending strain. Working with him to develop such problem-solving skills may help him feel more in control of his actions. As a partner, it is important that you allow him to take responsibility for fixing his spending errors, for controlling his spending habits, or for his emotional healing.
With affection,
Manay Gina
“The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman.” – Mexican Proverb
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