WE all have our own circle of friends. Whether we meet them daily because you go to the same school or office. Every week because you go to the same church or every month because you are part of a rotary or part of a NGO. We enjoy the time spent with our friends because they are after all, part of our lives. However, there’s one thing that can easily destroy relationships and friendships, MONEY! Don’t underestimate the power of money, not only can it dictate your status and your ability to achieve a good life, it can also destroy bonds and friendships!
While money tendencies tend to vary from one person to another, there are certain money situations that can be very awkward among friends; from paying back borrowed money to splitting the bill after a fun dinner. It is very important that we learn to be upfront about money expectations – when to pay back the money that was borrowed and whether or not we split the bill. If left unaddressed, this can be a cause of your misunderstanding and can break your friendship.
Here are the 5 Money Situations With Friends That You Need To Deal With On A Regular Basis:
1. When you let your friend borrow money but they never paid you back.
“How many time you have friends who borrowed money but never returned it?” I believe not only once but many times.
In our culture, it’s quite difficult to say “no” to a friend who is in need but if saying “no” can save your friendship then go ahead. However, if you’re fine with lending money to your friend, you might want to be very upfront about the time when you need the money back so you can set proper expectations. Also, if you’re the one who finds it awkward to remind people of their debts, shrug the idea of lending money to your friends, unless you’re ready to let that money go.
2. When you let your friend borrow money but they spent it wastefully.
How do you feel about a friend who always complains about not having enough money yet always seems to have a brand-new pair of shoes to show off? How about a friend whom you helped out (because they said they are tight on money) only to find out they went on a vacation with their friends?
Have you ever regret helping a friend?
May this serve as a reminder to all helpful friends: always agree where the money you’re lending is going. Clarify where the money will be used and have an agreement because if you don’t, once the money flies out of your hand, it’s technically not yours to spend anymore.
3. When your friend always asks you about the price tags.
Talking numbers is quite a taboo in Filipino culture. Questions like “how much is your salary?” or “how much did that cell phone cost?” I’m sure we all have that “friend” who always seems to ask these kinds of questions.
If you have a close relationship with that friend and you’re comfortable talking numbers with her, then that shouldn’t be a problem. But if you’re uneasy with discussing figures, you can simply tell that friend that you would rather not disclose that information. Sometimes, being straightforward is the only way out.
4. When you plan on splitting the bill but your friends ordered so much.
Have you ever experienced eating out with friends, when it is time to settle the bill. They suddenly will excuse themselves and go to the comfort room or tell you on the last minute, “Friend, can you pay for my meal? I left my wallet at the office, I will pay you later.” Definitely an awkward situation to be in, especially for those who keep track of their budget and expenses seriously. So what’s the best way to deal with situations like this? Ask the restaurant to give you separate tabs – quite tedious on their part but hey, it’s better than ending up having to pay so much for stuff you didn’t even enjoy, right? Another way is to set expectations; if you don’t plan on ordering that much, you can give your friends a heads up, tell them you’re only getting a drink. End of story.
5. When you can’t keep up with your friends’ lavish spending.
Differences in income and spending habits can also contribute to awkward money situations among friends. For instance, you have a friend who always invites you eat out or shop. Do it once a month may not hurt but if you do that on a regular basis, it will soon hurt. Things you but don’t come for free! These things are most likely not included in your budget but you feel guilty for always turning down your friend’s invitation. This is a very common situation but there’s always a way out. You can try to suggest activities that you can enjoy with your friends that will require you less to zero spending like doing outdoor activities, playing board games at home or a movie marathon at your place instead of that expensive coffee date.
Our friendships can impact the way we handle our finances and this is definitely one aspect that needs our attention. If we want to cultivate good friendships, we need to learn where to put money matters within those friendships.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Why is it important to address money situations among friends?
How else can money affect friendships and relationships?
Have you had a friend who wants to borrow money from you? How did you agree or disagree to her request and what did you learn from that experience?
“Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.” – Margaret Walker