Hi Ms Rica,
25 years old na po ako and still a virgin. Is there something wrong with me?
Thanks,
V
Hi V,
Thank you for your letter. I would like to start by saying that it’s okay to be a virgin at 25. Walang mali sa pagiging virgin at that age.
Although majority of men already have had intercourse (whether with a girl or a boy) before the age of 25, not all men have. And that’s totally fine. Kung okay lang to have intercourse at that age, okay lang din to NOT have intercourse at that age.
There are many different reasons why people don’t engage in intercourse. Some people wait until they find someone they’re really attracted to until they have intercourse or any type of sexy time. And there are others who will have sexy time with people even if they’re not attracted to them.
On that same line of thinking, some people wait before having intimate relations with someone until they’re in love, or until they feel that they are in a loving, commited relationship, or until they are married. Other times, there are people who want to do it and are ready to do it, but, they find it difficult finding a partner, or they feel shy, or they just do not know how to move forward to having sexual relations. Pwedeng natatakot. Pwedeng nahihiya. Pwede ring hindi lang alam kung anong gagawin.
Eventually, most people will have intimate relations with other people. BUT, there are also a number who never do. Ibig sabihin, may mga taong “virgin” their whole lives. And that’s fine, too. In fact, some people feel that they are not attracted to other people and identify as asexuals.
And of course, there are also people who go for periods of time without doing it. Even people who have been doing it for a long time. And that’s also fine. The point is, people experience or not experience sexy time differently. There is no one way that people experience sexy time.
If you feel that you’re ready to explore this aspect of your life, I would suggest that you ask yourselves these things: How do you feel about it? What kind of sexy activities are you interested in? How do you get aroused? What do you feel about relationships and intimacy? Would you like to do it with someone you know or a stranger? These are just a few things that might help you move forward.
Whatever it is that you want to do, whether you want to give up your “virginity” or not, what I want to say is that there are different ways to create a pleasurable and meaningful sex life, and it’s just you who can decide what feels right for you. #takeitfromthesexymind
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @_ricacruz and www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
