I’M sure that by now, we realize the utmost importance of having rules even when we don’t actually like having them. In marriage and money, we can also set some rules to avoid chaos and arguments that can lead to greater destructive things.
I’m so blessed that in over 20 years of marriage, we do not have any serious money fights with my wife. Because it has been clear to her men in the household make the MAJOR DECISION and women makes the MINOR DECISION. She accepts that arrangement.
That’s the reason why for over 20 years of marriage, we never made any major decision, we only make minor decision. Happy wife, happy life. Kidding aside.
Allow me to share with you the five simple money rules that we live by if you want to live a harmonious and happy one:
- Schedule weekly money dates with your spouse
You’ve heard me say over and over how you should have date days or nights with your spouse. Well, let me tweak that a little bit: You schedule a money date with your spouse. Weekly money dates allow you and your spouse to come into the money conversation prepared and ready to make progress and perhaps some evaluation.
“How is our budget doing?” “Are we on track?”
“Do we have upcoming expenses that are unplanned?”
This date will make a healthy environment where you and your spouse can freely talk about money issues. Sounds healthy, doesn’t it?
- Talk about financial history
Sometimes, couples choose not to talk about the money past because they do not want to dig skeletons and they fear that talking about the past can only spark heated arguments.
This will help you understand and realize their money habits. Like for example, why is your husband is so thrifty? Maybe he comes from a family where there was not enough. He does not want your family to experience it once again, that’s the reason he is so frugal.
He has the fear of being broke and poor again. You see, these are just fears and we really do not even know unless we try and open up to our spouses. Letting your spouse in on your financial history might just be the best way that he or she will come to understand you and your personality.
- Learn to be more compassionate and patient
This kind of sounds very generally but it can also be very applicable when it comes to finance and marriage. Remember that you and your spouse have diverse financial personalities and backgrounds, thus, a little compassion and patience can help him or her adjust as he or she learns to work with you.
Learning how to be patient and bear with one another are two of the greatest weapons that we use in order to preserve our relationship.
- Practice positive associations
Finances can be a huge source of stress, thus, many couples view it as something negative and stressful. But we can always try and change our perspective and we can start by practicing positive associations.
Instead of pointing out your spouse’s mistakes when it comes to money matters, try to see his or her improvements, even the littlest ones and magnify it. Try to focus on the positive not on the negative.
Look at the opportunity not on the difficulties. Focus on the solution not the problem. You’ll be amazed by the positive impact it can have in your marriage.
- Pray for each other
Did you see this rule coming? I just realized that no matter how good we are when it comes to managing our money, if we don’t actually pray for our spouse, anything at any moment can go wrong. Therefore, shielding our spouse with prayer can help us protect our marriage and money on a different level.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Do you have certain money rules that you and your spouse follow in your marriage? How can rules improve the way we handle our money and our relationships? Why is it important to pray for our spouse?