Hi Ms. Rica,
Paano po ba tatanungin kung may STD (or STI) na ang partner ko. I’m having sex with my boyfriend po kasi pero gusto ko pong malaman kung kailangan bang tanungin, o basta nakacondom ay okay na?
Thank you po!
Casual Girl
Hello Casual Girl,
It’s actually really smart of you to think about asking your partner kung nagkaSTI na sila. It only means that you’re keen on protecting yourself! Good job!
Paano nga ba? Para sa madaming tao, sobrang awkward to talk about sex, lalo na kung ang paguusapan ay ang past sexual partners o sexual history. Kaya mas madali kung hindi na lang pagusapan. PERO, talking about your sexual history with your partner actually helps you make informed decisions. Now, we cannot guarantee that they will tell the truth if you ask, pero it is not on you kung magsinungaling sila. Kaya dapat pa rin talaga ay palagi kang protected by using a condom.
Now, wala talagang perfect way to ask, kaya yung iba ay sinisigurado na lang na protected sila by using a condom, like what you said. But also, be aware na ang pinakacommon na symptom ng STI ay ang WALANG SYMPTOM. Ibig sabihin, pwedeng hindi mo malaman na may STI ka hanggang hindi ka nagpapatest.
You may start the conversation casually, just by being yourself. Gumamit ka ng language na comfortable between you and your boyfriend para hindi siya mabigla. Be direct as possible, kahit na pwede siyang maging awkward. Pwede mor in sabihin sa partner mo na you’re asking for both of your health. You may also ask him if he wants to get tested with you, para sure kayo na safe kayo pareho.
Either way, having this conversation with your partner will not only help you and your partner be safer in terms of your sexual activities, pero makakatulong din ito to increase you intimacy with each other. Isa itong test for you and your boyfriend to have a more open communication, especially in sex. Pag nagawa niyo to, mas madali na for you to talk about your sexual desires and preferences and have more enjoyable sexy time together! 😉
Good luck!
With love and lust,
Rica
* * *
If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @_ricacruz and www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.